We all been there where we are being sat down and we have to open all the gifts that our guest has brought in front of them! If you ask me, it’s the worst thing you can do in front of anybody besides eating bacon and not sharing them or having that last drop of Merlot without even pouring for others, you know what I mean. Yes, its called the Bridal Shower or the Baby Shower.
1: Fake Laughs
I believe we are in a day and age where we all can differentiate a real laugh and a fake laugh. A fake laugh is like chandelier’s work laugh. No, just don’t do it anymore. Maybe you can try, memorise a joke of the week in your head so when you need to fake a laugh, it can actually be genuine.
2: Complimenting the way the present was wrapped.
Oh come on! This is the oldest trick in the book. Complimenting the outside of a gift without actually opening the gift is already an in-your-face tell tale sign that you hate your gift because it is not what you expect. Maybe you were expecting your boyfriend to buy you that pair of swarovski earrings that you have been eyeing on for weeks but the box that he is about to give you looks slightly too big to be swarovski earrings. Don’t say, “Oh wow. What a pretty box!” Really? Compliment the thought behind it. Compliment him for even trying. It is after all the thought that counts even though he bought you another pair of Crossfit knee length socks in maroon. Appreciate the effort that he has gone through for you. Ask him what other colours were there. Why did he choose this colour. Why.
3: Distraction
“Oh. My. God. Did you buy a new Prada bag? I love it!” Haha. I remember after opening the world’s worst gift, I had no words for it beside having my jaw drop to the ground in major shock. I quickly scanned around the room to look for the closest distraction so as to distract my best friend from noticing the disgust on my face. Don’t do that. Instead, engage them about the gift and where on earth did they come up with this brilliant idea of buying such a beautiful piece of dark brown scarf with army green stripes all over them, that you find that store, you may or may not burn the store down. This isn’t distraction, this is feigning an interest from a different perspective.
4: Instant declaration of love
“Oh My God! I love it!” To me when I hear someone says they love it, I know deep down they hate it. I’ve been there before, so don’t ty it with me. When someone tries to compliment the gift almost instantly, it is too good to be true. Well, unless you have told the person what you exactly want beforehand. It is still too good to be true. Instead, say something like, “I’ll send you a photo when I wear it to work for the first time! I’m going to be such a hit at work!” Have her suffer the consequence of that matching mustard two-piece wide pants suit with you.
5: Ignore
This cannot be anymore blatant. I mean what is worse than intentionally ignoring your friend’s good intentions. Don’t do it. Sometimes friends buy you gift that you think you don’t need, but they know you do. So trust and believe in their instinct. Don’t be a bitch about it. Enjoy the moment. Flaunt the gift in front of all your other friends. I mean, isn’t that the sole purpose of opening gifts in front of people? (People will eventually get the hint that this tradition should die!).
I mean, if you ask me (which you really shouldn’t), don’t open gifts in front of people unless it is your closest of closest friends or your Nana that can barely hear the Lion Dance right next to her. Do it only around the people that you believe and know you can trust always and no matter what.
But here is the best advice, I will ever give anyone. Give people a gift card. It’s safe, it’s easy and it leaves the bad choices up to the receiver themselves. Not your fault if they buy themselves a bad gift right?
